I like this.

...A Secret Admirer?

Being the host of Strange Frequencies Radio may not come with a boatload of perks, but it has allowed me to meet a pretty good number of really unique, smart, and interesting people. But with any good comes a little bad and along this path there have been a few crazies along the way. And I'm not referring to any guests. No way. The paranormal, practically by definition, is going to attract a fair number of freaks. This I know. And if you make a hobby out of the paranormal, particularly in a public forum such as an internet radio show, some of those looney birds will eventually find you. I'm fine with that. I'm a bit of a looney myself.

Recently, however, I received something in the mail that, I must admit, is a first even for me. I don't really have any clever way to say it, so I guess I'll just put it out there: A listener sent me her panties.



At least, I'm assuming it's a "her." Like I said, the paranormal attracts a fair number of freaks. There was no note attached. No return address. No name. Not much of anything other than the panties and my name on the recently received mailer.

It's curious indeed, but I have chosen to be flattered. I write this blog to share my sense of wonder with you.

Have you any thoughts on this matter? Are you the sender of said skivvies? Whoever you are out there, let's hear from you.

WHAT AM I TO MAKE OF THIS MATTER???

Do You Like Bratwurst Pizza?

I know I do. But I just found this out tonight.

See, it was 11pm and there wasn't much in the way of decent food in the fridge. Desperate times called for desperate measures. And desperate measures meant Vito's Pizza.

I pored over the website but was torn over what to order. I asked my friend Rachel for help. She took a look at the menu and made a decision in roughly 12 seconds: "Get the brat pizza and sweet ray sauce subste. I will bang u for a slice that sounds good. This sandwich blows." The misspellings are hers. I should mention Rachel was drunk.

Anyway, I took her advice and ordered it. Johnsonville bratwurst slices, sweet red peppers, vidalia onion sauce, sauerkraut, mustard, and glorious cheese. Delicious.

Sometimes it pays to listen to Rachel.

WTF? I'm Back, Bitch!

My pal Rachel recently reminded me of this blog when she found it and posted a comment telling me how gay I am. It's been over a year since I posted anything, so it's high time I brought it back from the grave.

Stay tuned for upcoming posts about the stupidest shit in the world, IE: things that happen in my "Life of Leisure."

Even the Man of Leisure Must Labor

Ugh.

As is sometimes the case, I had to set aside my life of leisure and labor a bit for the good of the house. Its upkeep, though physically taxing, is necessary. We mustn't live in squalor.

First, I scooped out the litter boxes and placed the bag of poop in the receptacle outside. Then, I took the trash out to the curb. And boy was there plenty of it!



I also collected everyone's plates and glasses from around the house and brought them into the kitchen. I loaded the dishwasher and cranked it up:



Finally, I vacuumed the living room floor. The carpet sure looks nice and clean now!



I deserve a frickin' raise.

Do You Like B-Dub Leftovers?

I do.

I went there with my folks earlier; ordered The Sampler. It is basically a little bit of all of their best appetizers. There were nachos, onion rings, mozzarella sticks, and boneless wings (I had the honey BBQ sauce).

Of course, I couldn't finish it all. There was simply too much food!! So, I boxed some of it up and brought it home.

Tonight's plans include a few episodes of "Dexter," and Buffalo Wild Wings leftovers. Hooray!!!

Cat Profile - "Lily" - The Only Woman to Share My Bed

This is Lily Merriweather Dickens, my pride and joy. I love her above all others. She is, indeed, the only woman who shares my bed.

Lily, despite being named after a beautiful flower, is actually quite a bitch. She kind of always has been. She hates every other cat I have. HATES. She has and will beat another cat up for most any reason. I've seen her attack cats for: looking at her, walking by her, sniffing her, making any kind of racket while she is sleeping, cleaning themselves in the living room, and having a hairball.

It's those last two that may be the most surprising, but I assure you it's true. Other cats are not allowed to clean themselves in the living room. Don't ask me why. It's Lily logic. She has run across a room to beat the hell out of one of them for merely licking his paws after a satisfying meal.

And what about a cat having a hairball? Yes, she has attacked for that reason as well. I guess she just didn't like the noise of them coughing it up. Hey, I don't pretend to understand it. Again, it's Lily-logic.

Despite this, and all her other cruel and unusual traits, she is my #1 favorite and I love her so much. Her and I get along like peas and carrots. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. I write her songs, I sing her lullabyes, I protect and defend her and, generally, am just completely retarded over her. I treat her better than most people treat their wives!

So this one is for you, sweet sweet Lily. I love you!!